the Nixionary

I just got home. Colorado. The sunshine state. Gorgeous. Gorgeous.
Anyways, as I was admiring the purple mountains majesty during descent, I had a stark realization: what if global warming gets so bad that skiing becomes an antiquated sport our kids can only dream of with saucer eyes and loads of questions? [...]

Here’s a little heart and soul for you straight outta Louisiana.* Actually three hearts. Maybe no souls. But soul food for sure.*
The Thanksgiving tradition here is to buy a little BEHEMOTH packaged bird feast called “Turducken.” It’s a huge turkey, stuffed with a duck, which is, in turn, stuffed with a [...]

Let me introduce an idea from the mouth of Ms. Royner, an Ohio State professor, who says that writing should be a full body experience– one that involves the head, the heart, the stomach, and the backbone. And I say truethat to that. Unfortunately, a lot of us spend most of the hours [...]

Sunday night post-game. In response to self-expression.
Zach: Some of the shit you write is just retarded.
Me: What? Like what? (laughing, though silently…wounded, angry, defensive, self-righteous, defiant, bitter, scrunch-nosed, cross-armed, furl-browed and in denial)
Zach: Like how the west wind makes you think more profoundly or whatever you wrote.
Me: But I really do think [...]

I’m going to add onto this one, so watch out.
THERE ARE FAR TOO MANY:
EMAILS IN ALL CAPS. COME ON.
Almost naked women and sprinkled pink donuts in women’s health magazines for them to be considered “health” magazines.
Spandex sporters.
People driving cars. Bikes are nice.
Little girls who think they need to be women.
Bad teachers.
Cigarettes.
Boxes of cake [...]