the Nixionary

I am convinced that mostly good things happen in pools.
First of all, I’m glad we float. For all our complaining, the human body is a pretty cool thing. (Everything that’s waterproof is cool).
Second of all, thank God for belly flops, which are awesome for everyone, even the flopper, if it’s a good one, […]

Exhaustion. Sleep Deprivation. Revelations. Last Monday, I accidentally wore my nose ring to school. The parents descended like vultures. Not to talk about their students who are failing, but to talk about my outward defamation of the good Lord’s temple. We had an hour and a […]

What would you ask for for Christmas if you couldn’t move your arms or your legs and couldn’t talk? I asked a friend this today who can’t talk or move his body, but who can spell using a special declaration system.
He said: a magnetic mattress.
I wonder if this is like those once-popular bracelets that […]